My Story the day my brother died

Grandma and Grandpa you couldn't have said it better. Thank you for your beautiful card. Thank you Jake for everything.
For those of you who have not heard my brother committed suicide on Tuesday. He had stuggled and been pained with mental and emoional torment for a very long time. Last year it got really bad and he let it all out to my mom. We begin getting him help we found a will he wrote out that everything was to go to Carter and how much he loved us etc.. Things were really bad thier for a while Carter was the only one who could get him out of bed some mornings and could bring him happiness. Then he got called to go to Louisianna to help out in the hurricane relief efforts. Things were going really well for him he was happy, serving others and we started to see hope in him to live. Things got back into the lull and it got even worse in Febuary. He was on medication seeing a phsycatrist, been given many many preistood blessings. Trying soooo Hard to go on a mission and feel normal again. Three weeks ago he tried to kill himself and miraculously it did not work. He tried even harder to want to live, he just couldn't take it any more. Please forgive me for not coming to the family Easter party I just had a feeling I needed to be here and I am so glad I was.
Tuesday morning he woke up really happy and gave my mom a real hard hug and left for work. He hadn't been able to drive because of his medication, but today he needed to so he could be back in time for his phsycologist appointment. He was supposed to be home at 3:00. 3:30 rolled around still not home so we called his boss and his boss said he was happy and normal at work he had gotten off a couple of hours ago. He went to the bank to cash his check at about 1:15 and his boss's wife saw him at the bank he waived to her and gave her a big smile and a wave. My mom panniked and started calling his friends, no one had seen him and his phone was turned off or out of range. We alerted the cops. Two of his freinds headed for Queen Valley where they always hung out. Me and my mom were going too but had no idea where thier hang outs were. We hoped he was just thinking like he did quite often out there. We waited and waited no word. His freinds were here we had a special prayer and then about 7:00 two police officers came to the door they had recieved word from Pinal County and had found him he was dead. Some rancher had alerted them of this. The cops got there at 4:15 his friends arrived at 4:25. We are sooooooo glad they were not the one's who found him. After he had cashed his check he went to the gun shop bought a 30-06 which is a very powerful rifle. Drove out there and fired twice then resting the gun on the seat of the car held it to his right temple and pulled the trigger.
I cannot express to you how greatful we are that he is out of his misery and suffering. He is at peace. We know that the plan of Salvation is real and we feel such great comfort. We have been told by countless people and we know it to be true that he will be able to progress their in the spirit world. He might not have here on earth. He is in our Heavenly Father's care we no longer have to worry about him being in pain. It breaks my heart to see Carter run to the door "Heber home?" when he hears a truck pull up. Or yesterday when someone was mowing the lawn he ran out there "Heber". Heber was his friend he loved him so much and Heber loved him equally. Hundreds of poeple have come over to give hugs and bring food, offfer service. Many people we never even knew told us of how he touched thier lives. Heber was so quiet and reserved. We never knew all these things. We feel so blessed he was found quickly and that we know why he did this. Though it will be hard and we will never fully comprhend how you can take your life our Heravenly Father is just and merciful. Mental illness is a serious thing and it is kept very quiet. So many people sufffer from depression. I know that my redeemer lives. We thank you for your prayers and love.